KElly’s reflection; a sisteR who’s been right where you are now. HEre’s what she would say to you…
One of my more, I guess you could say, "negative" anticipations of the circle was that it would just be sad and heavy. That it would 'just' be a room of crying, and that I might feel more sad, but that it would be a 'necessary' step. Like others mentioned, I didn’t really 'want' to come inside the building. I waited in my car til the last minute ;). I had a resistance because I didn't want someone else to dictate how I processed, or to be made uncomfortable by rituals and exercises that I didn't like.
But my fears couldn't have been farther from the reality. Yes, there was deep sadness. But while everyone was sharing their stories, and emotions, I did not disconnect from my own story. Because we all shared a similar experience, it wasn't just listening to others heartbreak and pain... it was joining them in that, and creating a safe and secure river of truth and vulnerability to jump into. Basically, compassion grew in me, for myself, as a result of having great compassion for the other women in the room.
I wouldn't hesitate to say that it will lighten your burden, increase your compassion for yourself, inspire you to walk through your grief in a new way, shed layers of despair, renew your sense of wholeness and beauty.... Because, the most sacred part is not in the rituals themselves, it’s in how the spirit lifts up as a result of them. ...And how the risk of showing up turns into (at least for me) a very grounded knowing-- where all the divided parts, the shattered parts, the intangible disconnect-- comes together, for a flash, or for the entire length of the evening. After that evening, I can say, I never felt fragmented again, around this grief... and I feel so grateful for that!
Thank you for all you are doing to bring light and self-love to our bodies as they move through grief!!
- Kelly M.